


If You Wait

by scarlet_letter



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Abortion, Betrayal, Childbirth, F/M, Flashbacks, Hook-Up, Lemon, Minor Character Death, Motherhood, Nursing, One-Sided Attraction, Oral Sex, Pregnancy, Sexual Content, Smut, Trust Issues, Violence, out-of-wedlock
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-29
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2018-07-10 22:28:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7010935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarlet_letter/pseuds/scarlet_letter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adeline March has worked herself to the bone to become the best military nurse she could, sacrificing her own dreams along the way.</p><p>After a devastating event of fatal proportions, Adeline finds herself in a situation that may mean further sacrifices and heartbreak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Help

**Author's Note:**

> First fic, you guys know the drill  
> xoxo Gossip Creator

There was no sound other than the wind. It gently flowed through the quadrant, picking up leaves that had fallen some time ago. It brushed around the two, toying with the red tresses of Adeline’s hair and making them look like embers.  
“Bertholdt.” Her voice was gentle, fully aware of how upsetting the situation was and not wanting to cause further distress. “Did you hear me?”  
“Pregnant.” He didn’t look at her, instead keeping his eyes trained on the ground. “You’re pregnant.”  
She tried to coax strength from her voice, and to stop it cracking. She failed. “I’m not going to force you into anything. You’re more than welcome to be a part of its life, and be a father to it, but I will have you know that I have decided to leave after it’s born. I’m going home to raise it with my mother.”  
“You’re leaving?”  
She crossed her arms and lowered her gaze to the cobblestones. “I have to. I’m going to need help to raise it and who better than my mother?”  
“I could help you.” His voice had no hint of anger, but there was definitely some hurt peppered in there. “You just said I could be a part of its life.”  
Fuck, now she put her foot in it. “Yes, but you’re a soldier. I mean, I’d like you to be there, but really, wouldn’t you be more interested in focusing on the military? And what if something happened to you? What would I say to them?”  
“You could tell them the truth?”  
Okay, he was definitely angry now. “Bertholdt, please, it’s the best thing to do.”  
“Well,” he said, his voice calm again. “How would you feel about getting married?”  
His suggestion was a much, much more logical of a solution than hers was, and she was momentarily touched by his suggestion.  
“Thank you for your offer, but that won’t be necessary.”  
She’d be lying if she were to say she wasn’t tempted at the proposal. Morally, it was a better option for him to become her husband. At least, it was a far better prospect than him being the father of her bastard and no more than that.  
“But what about your job, Adeline? You’ve worked so hard. Four years, Adeline. Four. Years.”  
Adeline pinched the bridge of her nose. This was just getting frustrating, now. She wasn’t here to argue, or make compromises, or settle disagreements. “Don’t fight me on this, Bertholdt. My decision is already made, and I’m going to go through with it.”  
“You can’t do this by yourself-”  
“Watch me.”  
At that, she turned away from the young man to whom she would soon be permanently connected to. She was pissed off, now. Before she could take a step, he gently grabbed her arm.  
“Adeline, come on, let’s talk about this.”  
“I’m done talking. My decision is final.”  
Her words came out sharper than she intended- much sharper. She felt regret spread through her chest, and desperately tried to ignore it.  
Regardless, she walked away. As much as she wanted to procrastinate dealing with this, it had to be handled. Now. She had no options left. She felt trapped, torn, confused, and upset. Toss that into a bag already full to the brim with hormones, and it was a giant clusterfuck of trouble waiting to happen.  
She held back tears, telling herself she could cry and punch a wall and kick a tree or simply strangle someone later.  
This needed to be taken care of. 

***

Adeline’s words sank in, and Hange slowly leaned back in her seat. They sat in the crazy lady’s office, and Adeline had just delivered her news. She’d been familiar with Hange in her novice days, and grew quite close to the woman. If there was anyone she could rely on for wisdom or another way out, it was motherfuckin’ Hange.  
The older woman was shocked, not to Adeline’s surprise. She knew what her reputation sounded like. “Are you sure? Like, really really sure?”  
Adeline nodded. “One hundred per cent positive. I’d assume I’m about a month and a half gone.”  
Hange wasn’t necessarily a hard person to read or to process, and Adeline could practically see the cogs turning away in her mind. “That would mean...”  
Adeline cocked her head. What could she possibly be assuming?”  
Rather abruptly, Hange stood up, and walked around to the side of the desk Adeline sat. She sat herself in the spare guest chair, pulling it up close. “Adeline, I’m going to ask you a very personal question. I want you to answer it, and answer it truthfully. Did someone use the situation in Trost as a chance to attack you?”  
“No.”  
“You mean that? You swear no one raped you?”  
“It was entirely consensual. If anything, I initiated it.”  
“Who is the father?”  
Adeline hung her head, shame and humiliation creeping up over her.  
“Adeline, answer me.”  
“Bertholdt Hoover.”  
Hange said nothing, so Adeline took her chance to vent. “Look, I just want to go home and raise it, away from all of this fucking bloodshed and torment. I’m handing in my resignation next week.”  
Hange’s face shifted from pitiful to just plain shocked. “Adeline!”  
“No. I need to leave. It’s better that way, and we all know it.”  
Hange removed her glass, and rubbed her eyes. “Adeline, I have to discuss this with Erwin. We’re short-staffed as it is and we need you. Specifically you.”  
Adeline stared at the woman, insure of what to say. The last thing she wanted to do was quit her job, but what else could she do?  
Hange put her glasses back on. “I think you should think about this a little more. Motherhood is a gigantic change in your life and you need a much bigger support network.”  
“So what do I do now?”  
“I’ll get the forms prepped for your maternity leave and have them signed so that’s all out of the way. But I think you should talk to Hoover some more about this.”  
Adeline sighed. “Fine. I’ll talk to him after work tomorrow.”  
Hange gave a curt nod. “Good.”  
Adeline stood to leave, but Hange leapt up to give her a hug. Fuck, she needed it, too.  
“Alright. Go get some rest and something to eat. I’ll see you tomorrow,” Hange said, running her thumb across Adeline’s cheek. Adeline nodded, and left the office, shutting the door firmly behind her. Two down, one to go.  
Now, to let a certain woman know about her grandchild.

***

Aside from the soft snores of his bunk mates, and the clock on the wall, the room was dead silent. Silence wasn’t something Bertholdt really wanted right now. Adeline’s news. It had-  
Well, it had shocked him to say the least. There were a thousand memories and scenarios playing over in his head. To even try to begin to explain how he felt would be a load of hysterical bullshit. The rest of the afternoon, he’d spent plodding around in a distracted daze. He’d managed to get through his work and assigned tasks, sure. But Adeline’s decision had been hanging over him like a dark cloud.  
Their history was like trying to put on a 3DMG harness in the morning. Drawn out and confusing. Sighing, Bertholdt rolled onto his back. The blanket fell away, exposing tan skin to the air, and goosebumps puckered along his flesh. It was still fairly cool for spring. Or maybe he was just on edge.  
Fuck, what was he supposed to do? What could he do?  
In the end, he hadn’t even joined the Military Police. He wasn’t going to get deployed to the inner wall, so there was no way of her going with him as his wife. He couldn’t even keep her safe. Off to a flying fucking start as a father, wasn’t he?  
The prospect of sleep was looking more and more bleak. Bertholdt rose from his bunk. Careful not to disturb the others, he walked outside. To put it bluntly, he felt fucking pathetic. How could he do this to her? Well, it wasn’t his fault entirely. But he could have used his fucking brain, and... and pulled out or something.  
He’d pretty much ruined her life.  
Everything she had worked and studied so hard for, she was basically throwing it away to raise a baby by herself. His baby. Their baby.  
He couldn’t remember the last time he cried. Probably when he was small, years ago. Probably over a broken toy, or a scraped knee, or something as equally trivial compared to he was facing right now. He didn’t sob; his shoulders didn’t shake. The tears simply rolled over his cheeks, though his face remained frozen. “Fucking hell.” He rubbed a fist across his face, trying to maintain if but a shred of composure.  
“Bert?” He didn’t have to look up to know Reiner had joined him. He must have felt Bert leave the bunk. “You alright?”  
“Not really.”  
The ever-present grimace on Reiner’s face deepened. The large man seated himself beside his friend, somewhat pained at his obvious distress.  
“So I spoke to Adeline today.”  
A hint of a smirk tugged at Reiner’s features. “She up for round two?”  
“She’s pregnant.”  
And the smirk was gone. Reiner’s face read “shocked” to the point Bertholdt almost laughed at his expression. “Oh.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Fuck.”  
Reiner turned his head to look straight forward. The two men gazed over the empty training grounds for what seemed like hours. It was too eerie, too still and too quiet.  
“She’s leaving.”  
Reiner’s head snapped back to look at Bert in disbelief. “What?”  
Bertholdt ran a hand through his hair. “She’s fucking leaving.”  
A positive trait Reiner possessed was that he never became angered quickly, or angered without reason. Regardless, Bertholdt could tell now that he was seriously pissed off. “She can’t do that, can she? It’s your kid too!”  
“It’s because I’m in the Corps.” Bertholdt heaved a sigh. “I guess she doesn’t want me sticking around just to die on them, but fuck.”  
Tension hung thick in the air, just about enough to suffocate the pair. Bertholdt could see Reiner’s anguish for his friend, and he knew he was going to get involved, now. As if on cue, Reiner placed a comforting hand on Bertholdt’s shoulder. “I’ll talk to her.”  
“Huh?”  
“I’ll talk to her,” he repeated. “She doesn’t have the emotional vendetta against me, and I’m not the one she’s been fucking in love with for the last three years. I’ll make sure she comes around.”  
“Since when did you get so wise?”  
He squared his massive shoulders. “Since you were the one to get a girl pregnant.”  
Well, he had a point and a half there. “Can’t argue with that I guess.”  
“Come on,” Reiner said with an affectionate clap on Bertholdt’s shoulder. “Get some rest. I’ll talk to her in the morning.”  
The two men headed back into the sleeping quarters. Reiner’s promise put Bertholdt at ease. As stubborn and hard –headed as Adeline was, if anyone could get through to her, it would be Reiner.  
Bertholdt settled back on the pillow, feeling eased enough to fall into rest.


	2. Intentions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not overly proud of this one, full time work and such tends to get in the way of free time, and tonsilitis sucker punched me this week :D

Adeline sat on the steps of her apartment, admiring the quiet around her. Crickets chirped through the chill of the evening. A woollen blanket was draped around her shoulder, and in her hands she clutched a mug of hot tea. She sighed.  
The days were too long and the nights were too short, and she wanted nothing more than for this bad mood to fuck off and allow her to go about her life. She should have been heading to bed, but her mind was too active. She had no desire to eat or read. It was a night to just sit and think.  
In spite of how shit she felt, there was no denying it was a beautiful night. Serene, and quiet other than the crickets. It gave Adeline a sense of peace, as if she wasn’t in the shittiest situation ever and she wasn’t being screwed over by life.  
There was the sound of footsteps, ruining the peaceful ambience that had briefly been Adeline’s escape from reality for a few precious minutes. She looked up, and immediately considered going into her cabin and locking the door.  
Here it fucking comes, she thought.  
Reiner Braun was never not around Bertholdt. There was only one occasion she could recall where she had actually seen one without the other, and that was the night she’d gotten into this mess. From now on, Braun without Hoover and vice versa was a bad omen, in her books.  
Reiner stopped in front of her, head up and shoulders back. They stared at one another for a moment, waiting for the other to speak. Through her attachment to Bertholdt, Adeline had, by default, become friends with Reiner. The boys were a packaged deal- a two for the price of one.  
He teased her, pulled her hair, picked on her. It was all in the fun similar to that of a big brother. She’d never actually been genuinely upset by his antics, but now he was pissed, and she knew it.  
“Hey,” he said simply.  
“Hi.”  
He extended his hand, and made a slight motion to the right. “Could I-?”  
She shuffled over, giving the large man room to sit. It was quiet again. Reiner wasn’t normally the angry type, but on the rare occasion that he did, he got broody. Broody, and dark, and silent.  
“How are you doing?”  
His question came rather abruptly, and Adeline jumped slightly at the sudden break in the quiet. She gripped the mug tighter in her hands. They were shaking, and she didn’t want Reiner to notice. “Bit of morning sickness, but I’m alright.”  
“I heard you’re leaving.”  
“Yep.”  
“Why?”  
“Because I don’t know the first thing about raising a baby on my own.”  
“You don’t have to raise it on your own.” Reiner’s tone was gentle, not without an underlying hint of horror. “Bertholdt’s here, he could help you.”  
Adeline shook her head. “That won’t work.”  
“But you love him, right?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“It’s complicated.”  
Reiner turned to look at the girl. “Adeline, come on.”  
Adeline faced him, anger beginning to bubble up. “You wouldn’t understand!”  
“Adeline,” Reiner sighed. “Bertholdt is like a brother to me. I need to look out for him, and for my niece or nephew.”  
Her heart warmed a little at that. He continued. “Why are you so adamant on leaving?”  
Adeline looked away, eyes lingering on a dead leaf on the pavement. “I really would prefer not to say.”  
“Okay.”  
“Hm?”  
“If you don’t want to say, I won’t pressure you.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Adeline, please don’t leave. I can’t even imagine what’s going through your head, or how you’re feeling right now. But we’re here for you, we’re not going to ditch you. Especially not Bertholdt.”  
Adeline gripped the blanket around her shoulders, pulling it tighter.  
“We’d miss having you around, Carrot Top.” Reiner elbowed her in the shoulder, and she grimaced at the nickname he’d affectionately dubbed her with two years ago.  
“You’re calling me Carrot Top at a time like this?”  
Reiner threw his head back and laughed. “As if I wouldn’t!”  
It was then that he noticed she’d begun to cry. “Oh, come here.”  
It was almost embarrassing how loud her sobbing was as Reiner put his arms around her and stroked her hair.  
“I’m shit at comforting people, so this is good as it gets.”  
Adeline laughed through her tears. “Dickhead.”  
He laughed at her cuss. “Such a lady.”  
“I’ve lost so many people. How the fuck do I deal with losing him?”  
“You won’t.” Reiner held her a little tighter. “I won’t let him go anywhere.”  
“Promise?”  
“If he dies, that means I’m stuck here on my own with these assholes.”  
Adeline laughed again, and rubbed the tears from her face.  
“Feeling better?”  
“Yes.”  
“Are you gonna stay?”  
She sniffed. “Yes.”  
He beamed, and kissed her forehead. “Good, now go wash your face, you loser.”  
“You’re so good to me.” Her tone dripped with sarcasm.  
He grinned and shrugged. “What else am I here for?” He jumped up and pulled Adeline to her feet to deliver a final bone-crushing hug. “I mean it, though. We’re here for you, Adeline.”  
“Thank you, Reiner.”  
“Go get some sleep.” He gently poked her in the belly. “I want that baby carrot to grow strong.”  
“Reiner!”  
He hollered and sped off before she could thump him. Adeline laughed to herself. Gathering up her blanket and mug, she abandoned the night for the refuge of her apartment. Her writing materials remained on her desk, left from when she penned her original letter in the midst of her distress. Hands beginning to shake, she began another letter.  
’Dearest Mother’ she began. ‘There’s been a change of plan.’  
******  
Days off were a rarity in the lead up to expeditions, but the next one wasn’t even a theory on paper. Free from duties, Bertholdt was going to see Adeline. Reiner hadn’t uttered a word about what he’d said to her. Regardless, he was using his day to talk to her himself. Or, at least he would try. Nurse’s shifts were rather difficult to track, and Adeline did night shifts at the infirmary, too, though he really wasn’t sure how often.  
He’d just have to wing it.  
Adeline’s place was a small apartment in the medical wing. Emphasis on the small. The cluster of nursing apartments were behind the hospital, with only eight nurses occupying the twelve of them.  
Now to find her damned apartment. He turned the corner to the second row.  
Oh shit.  
Adeline was on the deck, talking to a soldier dressed in full uniform.  
“Adeline!” he walked briskly up the steps. “You okay?”  
Adeline looked at him. “Erwin wants to see us.”  
He turned to the soldier, whom nodded. “You too, Hoover.”  
Back to Adeline, who blinked at him owlishly. He loved her eyes. How they reminded him or the leaves in summer, and how they sparkled when she laughed. They were filled with anxiety, now.  
She placed a hand on his forearm. “It’s alright.”  
He wasn’t sure if he believed her.  
*****  
Adeline had always been a little afraid of Erwin Smith. He fit the part of an authorative figure well, and he had her respect, but a lot of that respect came through fear.  
The Commander’s office was much larger than she anticipated, much of the room being taken up by various filing cabinets. Adeline and Bertholdt occupied the two guest chairs in front of the huge mahogany desk, and Hange had sat herself on the filing cabinet to the side.  
Adeline couldn’t keep her hands still. It was a habit of hers. She wrung her hands, cracked her knuckles, picked at her nails. It was gross, but she couldn’t stop.  
Erwin rested his hands on his desk as he leant forward. “So,” Was he angry? Disappointed? Was he going to call her out for behaving like a slut and have that be the end of it? “How are you doing, Adeline?”  
She looked down at her hands, and saw that the skin around her fingernails had begun to bleed from her incessant picking. “I’m fine, sir.”  
“Your sickness isn’t proving to make work difficult?”  
She shook her head. “No.”  
“I know this is a lot to ask,” he sighed, running a hand over his blond tresses. “Do you think you can work just a few more months?”  
“Of course.”  
He smiled tightly. “I know it isn’t great, but we would prefer to keep you just a little longer before handling your resignation.”  
Now or never, Adeline. “Actually, Commander, I’ve changed my mind about resigning.”Hange leaned forward, and Bertholdt’s head snapped toward her. “I’ve decided to stay here.”  
Hange’s face broke out into a grin. Comical, and slightly maniacal. Adeline was pleased to see her back to her old self. Adeline continued her revelation. “I would like to privately discuss matters with Bertholdt, if it please you.”  
She looked then at the father of her child. He wasn’t smiling. Shit, was he mad? He didn’t look mad, but Bertholdt was rarely one to express himself.  
Erwin nodded. “I’ll allow it.”  
“Thank you.” Adeline stood, thanked Erwin, and strode out of the office. Bertholdt followed her. Hange dodged around the two large men and caught up with the younger woman. She threw her arms around the small redhead.  
“I knew you would stay.” Her hands rubbed a quick soothing circle between Adeline’s shoulder blades, and then the two women parted. “I’ll sort your maternity leave for you.”  
Adeline said nothing, and just smiled at her friend. Hange gave her a nod, and promptly left.  
Bertholdt snaked a hand over Adeline’s shoulder. “Let’s go.”  
Adeline put her hand on his. Maybe, just maybe they could make it work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, this really is a rush job. I'm serious, this chapter pissed me off so much, hence why it took forever before I threw in the towel.  
> Also, I'm going to Japan in a few days for two weeks, but I will be taking a journal to write, and I have my phone, so I might be able to update when access to wi-fi permits. 
> 
> much love and appreciation <3


	3. Never Forget

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is brought to you by a seven hour plane flight, in which I could not sleep at all because I either drooled on my bff or fell asleep on her boobs. 
> 
> Speaking of boobs, warning because there's a lemon up ahead. 
> 
> There's your warning, let's be adults :)

_ Four Weeks Earlier _

_Finally, she had him where she wanted him. Adeline locked the door behind her, and turned to the young man. Her courage was up, as was her anger, and she was fully prepared to tear into him. Bertholdt was thoroughly unimpressed. This was a regular occurrence- she would get him alone, they would fight, she would tease him with the promise of physical gratification, and then run off when push came to shove. The scowl on his face told her all she needed to know, and that was that he was pissed. Perhaps he wasn't the only one that would be getting ripped a new one, tonight._

_"What's your problem?" he said. Adeline winced a little at his tone. It was so unlike him to be coarse._  
_"You're leaving?"_  
_Bertholdt said nothing, opting instead to cross his arms and avert his gaze._  
_"Military Police?"_  
_"Yes."_

_She'd heard a few of the top ten were leaving for the inner walls, but she never imagined Bertholdt would leave. "You're running away."_  
_"Excuse me?"_  
_She repeated herself. "You're running away."_  
_Her voice dripped with malice. She was beyond pissed as it was, but him telling her directly of his plans to deploy to Sina made her anger flare up all over again. Now, she was out to hurt him._

_The scowl on his face deepened. "How am I running away, exactly?"_  
_"Choosing the most corrupt branch so you can be safe inside the walls? That's literally running away."_  
_He opened his mouth to snap a rejoinder, but no words came out. Exactly, she thought. I'm right, and you're wrong._  
_"You're mad at me because I value my life?"_  
_"I'm mad at you for leaving me!"_

_"Leaving you?" He laughed, but it was full of bitterness, no humour at all. "What am I leaving, exactly? You said so yourself that there was no way you would be with me!"_  
_"I was upset when I said that!"_  
_"What the fuck did you have to be upset about? **You** left  **me** there, remember?" _  
_She shouted, "I'm scared, okay?!"_

_"Adeline, you-"_  
_"I'm scared of you upping and leaving, which is exactly what you're fucking doing!"_  
_"I wouldn't-"_  
_"But you are!" She jabbed a finger into his chest. "Fuck. You."_

_She turned to leave. Mina probably still had some wine left, and she needed a drink._  
_Bertholdt grabbed her arm. "We aren't fucking done here!"_  
_Adeline faced him, hair wild and eyes blazing. "Go right ahead."_

_"You've done this to me how many times now?"_  
_Her stomach sank. "I don't know what you're talking about."_

_"Excuse me?" He hesitated, then took a breath. It was at that moment, Adeline knew she fucked up._  
_"How many times have you cornered me? Just like this, and told me how much you want me, then run away like I mean nothing to you?"_  
_"That's hardly-"_

_"Hardly what?" he snapped. "You know what? You're a tease."_  
_She felt her jaw drop. "Excuse me?"_  
_"Midsummer's, New Year's, it's all the fucking same!" He was leaning over her, but she didn't shrink back. "You reel me in, then you fuck me over. You're a tease, and you're a fucking hypocrite."_  
_"At least I'm not a coward."_

_She'd never seen him so angry. His eyes burned with fury she'd never witnessed anyone to possess. Still, she stared at him, into his face. Adeline's worst quality was easily her attitude toward right and wrong. That meaning, if she felt she was right, the other person was one hundred fucking per cent wrong. Bertholdt's hand snaked around the back of her head and grabbed a handful of hair. Adeline stiffened at his touch, but she didn't drop her gaze for a second._

_He pulled her into his chest. His grip on her hair forced her neck back. She couldn't look away even if she wanted to. His mouth slammed down into hers. Immediately, Adeline melted into him, her arms hoisting herself up onto him. Her legs went around his waist, and then her back was against the wall. She opened her mouth wider, and his tongue slid into her mouth. She briefly returned the gesture before breaking the kiss. "Put me down."_

_Bertholdt released her. Immediately, she began to fiddle with the buttons on her shirt. Bertholdt grimaced slightly._  
_"What are you doing?"_  
_"Proving I'm not a tease."_  
_"You don't have to, I was mad-"_  
_"Take off your shirt." Adeline's own shirt slid from her shoulders and to the floor. "Now."_

_She knew he wouldn't pass up the opportunity that was presenting itself to him, regardless of the other times before. Bertholdt tugged his shirt over his head in one swift movement, and tossed it to the side._

_Adeline's throat went dry._

_He was undeniably handsome. Of course, anyone with functioning eyes could see that. But seeing him so bare in front of her flooded her with desire. The expanse of muscle, built through years of military lifestyle and showing nothing but raw masculinity. The two stared at one another for a moment, unsure of what to do. Adeline saw the muscles in his neck twitch as he swallowed._

_With one finger, she beckoned him closer. "Come here."_

_Bertholdt took two steps toward her, and Adeline jumped into his arms. Again, their mouths found one another's, and the heat between the two continued to grow._  
_He broke the kiss. "How do you want to do this?"_  
_"Floor."_

_He nodded, and knelt down with Adeline in his lap. He sucked on her neck where it met the shoulder, and his hand reached up to rub one of her breasts. Adeline pulled away. "Let me get these off."_  
_She began to fiddle with the button on her pants. Bertholdt's huge hands wrapped themselves around her waist and lifted her off him, plonking her on the ground. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of her pants. "Off?"_

_"Yes."_  
_Slowly, he tugged her pants down over her hips._  
_"Come on, let's do it." She reached out to grab him, but he caught her wrists._  
_"You aren't ready yet." His hands settled on her thighs, and he gave them a gentle squeeze. "Let's just play for a little bit longer."_  
_She nodded. "Okay."_  
_"Can I touch you?"_  
_Again, she nodded, and closed her eyes._

_Warm hands roamed her body. moving from her thighs and trailing up to her breasts. His fingers kneaded the soft flesh, prodding and squeezing and pinching._  
_"Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?"_  
_His thumbs rubbed circles over her nipples, and goosebumps prickled along her skin. His hands ventured back down, caressing her ribs._  
_She giggled. "That tickles."_  
_"You're silly."_  
_"Well it did!"_  
_He chuckled. "Can I touch you?"_

_Adeline's heartbeat picked up to the point she could hear it in her ears. It filled her head, making her feel anxious and dizzy in an almost nauseating concoction. Kissing and touching him always gave her such a rush. She'd had so many firsts with him already. Perhaps she could fit in one more._

_His fingers slid into her with ease. She knew he would do this for a little while. He liked to kiss and fool around before things got too serious._  
_"I want you to do it." Her breath hitched in her throat. "I want it to be you."_  
_Bertholdt said nothing, continuing his ministrations instead._

_"Did you hear me?"_  
_"Are you sure?"_  
_"Yes."_  
_He removed his fingers. Rising onto his knees, and his hands went to his waistband. Adeline blushed and covered her eyes. Warmth enveloped her body as he settled on top of her, and radiated through her body. Adeline grasped his shoulders, finding the silky texture of his skin utterly delectable beneath her fingertips._

_"Are you okay?"_  
_Adeline opened her eyes. She stared into his face, indulging in his features. She wanted to remember this._  
_"I'm okay." One hand laid on his cheek while the other came to rest over his heart. Heavy, strong pumps pounded into her palm. "I'm ready."_

_Again, she closed her eyes. There was an element to the room she couldn't describe. She wanted him, more than anything. But there was a small corner of her brain that screamed at her to stop. She recalled the other times they'd been in this exact situation. The part of her mind begging her to see reason had always been there. She wished it would just go away. It was a killer of would-be intimacy, and it made her question herself and all the values she possessed. As much as Adeline knew she loved him, that little monster in her mind told her she wasn't, in spite of her admitting it to herself and to other people._

_Part of her felt she was wrong for feeling the way she did. Not for her affection, but the fact the affection was felt toward him. There was something that wasn't entirely alright about him, part of her felt. That part of her was was pulling her away, begging her not to take this further and to run while she still could. Adeline opened her legs, her thighs coming to frame his hips._  
_"Are you sure you want this?"_

_The voice pulled at her, crying over and over again to have some sense. Stop, put her clothes on, and leave. Go home, go to bed, and forget him._

_"I want this."_

_Bertholdt's thumb trace her swollen lips, and they tingled beneath his touch. She didn't take her eyes off the man above her. Gently, he pushed up into her._

_Her heart was the first to react, the anticipation making her snap. It hammered inside her chest, beating at her ribs like a bird in a cage. The pain came next. Adeline cried out as her body desperately tried to accommodate him. It left her gasping, digging her nails into his biceps as she gripped his arms for some kind of stability._

_"Do you want to stop?"_  
_"No, keep going-"_  
_He pushed further into her, up to the hilt, and she hissed._  
_"Don't stop."_  
_"But it's hurting you."_  
_"I don't care."_

_Her fingers came to tangle in his hair, and she kissed him. Long, slow, and deep. She pushed her hips up into his, and he groaned back in his throat. Low and guttural, the sound was utterly intoxicating. The muscles inside her clenched around him, and a shudder passed over his body. He pushed back against her, pressing her body into the floor. The pain returned, though not as intense as the initial moment when he entered her._

_Her heart pounded away, so hard she could hear it in her head. It made her dizzy, blurring her vision with spots of white.  Bertholdt never took his eyes off her, which inflamed her even more. "Are you okay?"_  
_"Yeah."_  
_"How does it feel?"_

_"Unbelievable." She swallowed. "What does it feel like?"_  
_He closed his eyes. His breathing was irregular, and he was shaking. "Incredible."_

_Bertholdt pressed his face into the crook of her neck."Fuck!"_

_She'd never felt anything so wonderful in her life. She wanted to cry, satisfaction and happiness overwhelming her and driving her emotions into a frenzy. His body heat ignited against her skin. Adeline found it almost unbearable, but nothing could outweigh the immense pleasure that was coursing through her. Adeline gripped his hips with her thighs, feeling a coil beginning to wind up inside her. Pressure was building in her lower abdomen, growing with each of his thrusts._

_The climax was so sudden it shocked her, knocking the breath from her body and leaving her reeling as wave after wave of pleasure crashed over her body. She tried to regain herself, but she threw back her head and cried out instead. A second or so later, Bertholdt did the same, groaning and driving his hips up into her. Warmth spread inside her, and his thrusts began to slow. Adeline kissed him, and her body went limp. She was exhausted._  
_Bertholdt's head came to rest on her chest. "Wow."_  
_She ran her fingers through his hair, unsure of what to say. She wanted to lay like this forever._

_Tomorrow, he would lodge his application for the Military Police, and he would be gone. Adeline clenched her eyes shut, desperate not to think about it. It wasn't fair. She knew it was selfish to expect him to stay. She would give anything for him to stay. Still, it was his chance for a good life. He would be far away from her, but he would be safe. That gave her some relief._

_Arms encircled her waist, and he nuzzled into her neck. He was asleep._

_Adeline continued to stroke his hair. He would be safe. That was all she could ask for, even if it meant they couldn't be together. All that matters right now was that he'd been her first. There would always be a piece of him with her. It was done._

_She settled back down. Sleep called to her, much like the voice that was now sulking because it hadn't gotten its way. She would remember this night forever, even if she never saw him again._

_Nothing was going to take that away from her._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First lemon I've written. Felt uncomfortable af.


	4. Pushing and Pulling

Neither had said a word since leaving Erwin’s office. The two sat in Adeline’s apartment, not speaking or touching. Bertholdt looked at Adeline and realised how tired she looked. She was a shell of what she’d once been. Once a picture of health and happiness, she now appeared hollow and gaunt, and dark shadows had taken place beneath her bloodshot eyes. The normal pink tinge that dusted her cheeks was gone, so now she just looked pale.  
It was as though her very spirit had left her body, vanished and left her empty. His heart grew heavy, and he wished hopelessly he could at least share the physical burden of the pregnancy with her.  
“What did Reiner say to you?”  
Adeline looked up, and Bertholdt was once again shocked by her drawn appearance. She dodged his question with ne her own. “Why did you send him to me?”  
“I didn’t.” Her eyes widened slightly, surprised. “I told him what happened, and he came on his own.”  
She lowered her head again.  
“Adeline, we need to talk.”  
Without replying, Adeline drew her knees up to her chest.  
“You’re staying, yeah? Let’s start sorting this shit out.”  
Still no reply. He guessed she was irritable, which was understandable, but fuck. She’d always been frustrating, but this was just stupid. “Why did you change your mind?”  
“Why did you changed yours?”  
She didn’t sound angry, just asking a simple question. He owed her an honest answer. “After graduation, I thought you’d finally made up your mind and wanted to be with me.”  
“I was with you that night because I thought you were leaving.”  
“What do you mean?”  
She looked at him, though he could tell she was having a hard time opening up. She was stoic to a fault. Perhaps it was what made her so good at her job. “Well, you were leaving, so I wanted to be with you so I could remember.”  
“Remember what?”  
“You know...”  
She cocked her head in a way that implied something of sexual nature.  
He laughed uneasily. “Well, I know now you didn’t do this on purpose.”  
Bertholdt regretted the comment as soon as he saw her eyes narrow. “What?”  
“It was a joke.”  
“You thought I did this on purpose?”  
“No, I-“  
“You were the one calling me a tease!” She stood, and crossed the room to where he was sitting. It didn’t make a difference, since she was at eye level with him seated. For a moment, Bertholdt was tempted to laugh and tell her how adorable she was.  
“Well, why would you do it if you knew it was a risk?”  
“Because I wasn’t thinking of it at the time!” Her voice was tight, and he had the feeling he’d overstepped it. “I was thinking about you leaving!”  
“But you must have known it could happen!”  
“I thought it would be fine!” Her eye shone with tears. Bertholdt tried to fathom the conversation he was presently apart of. It was difficult to talk to her at the best of times. If he was honest, he wasn’t thinking about it either. It hadn’t even crossed his mind in the weeks after. She’d gone back into her little bubble of being Adeline, and that was that.  
“I’m scared.”  
“I am, too.” He reached forward to grab her hand. If he could get her to open up just a little more, maybe they could actually sit down and talk about what was to come. Adeline sat herself next to him on the bed, and he noticed her hands were shaking. He never considered that he would be here, in this situation. A Survey member having a lover was rare enough, and one being married with children was virtually unheard of. What was the point? The mortality rate was unbelievable, which left the prospect of having a willing partner pretty dismal.  
It was better for Adeline, at least. She could get married and have a family- it wasn’t out of the question for her. She could even return to her job after a little while. Here he was, in front of him, carrying his child.  
“I’m sorry for being an asshole.”  
“You should be.”  
He smirked. “Are you working tomorrow?”  
“I have a night shift.”  
“We could apply for a house?” He tucked a stray curl behind her ear. “Garrison soldiers get married all the time. I don’t see why it would be different for us.”  
“You really think we could get a house?” The corner of her mouth tugged up a little. He wasn’t sure if she was being a smartass or if she was genuinely excited.  
“Worth a shot,” he shrugged.  
Bertholdt cupped her face. God, she was just so beautiful. He hesitated for a second, and then kissed her. It was probably the most innocently intimate act, but to him it felt like freedom. He wasn’t sure where it would go, but he was kissing her and that was all that mattered, really.  
Adeline stiffened at first, but relaxed a second later and began to kiss him back. He pulled away for a second, only to have her blink owlishly and pull him back in. She tilted her head and opened her mouth wider. He heard her moan in the back of her throat, and felt her hands in his hair. Lust and emotion filled him, building into a mess of desire and greed.  
Her hands left his hair to grab his wrists. Adeline brought them to her chest, and delicately guided him over her.  
“Softly,’ she whispered.  
Delicately, he squeezed her breasts and was amazed at how soft they were. Adeline grabbed his shirt, and pulled him further onto the bed. Clearly, she was looking for a little more. Bertholdt left a final kiss on her mouth and began an assault on her neck. His lips moved along the soft skin of her throat, nipping and sucking as he went.  
“We can’t be too loud.”  
Bertholdt’s nose brushed along her collarbone, only half-listening. “Mm-hm.”  
He inhaled the scent of her skin, relishing the gorgeous musk that always seemed to be playing along her flesh. With shaking fingers, he unlaced the strings holding her top together, and brushed his fingers over the swell of her bare breast. He pulled the hem down further and heard Adeline’s breath hitch in her throat.  
She had her knees drawn up either side of his hips, and already he could feel how warm she was. Bertholdt moved his hips to grind into her centre, and he had to hold back a groan. She already felt so good. Her top was completely undone, making Bertholdt lick his lips. Slowly, he pulled the material aside to reveal her bare chest. He took a moment to drink in the beauty of her body, and realised how much it had already changed. Her breasts were bigger, he noticed, and softer. She’d never been full in the chest. For as long as he’d known her, Adeline had been all hips. He ran his thumb over one of her nipples, rubbing until it puckered into a fat little bud.  
Softly, he kissed the underside of her breast. Adeline sighed and arched her back. His tongue swept over the cleft, and she moaned. Bertholdt wondered where else he could put her mouth to make her moan like that. Her hands dipped between them, and she began to tug her dress up.  
“God, I fucking want you.” She brought one arm back up to snake around his neck. Pulling him to her, she kissed him, hard and full of passion.  
Bertholdt broke the kiss to look down at her. She was spent beneath him, skin flushed, red and glistening with sweat. Adeline nodded, and her consent was given. He rose from her body to sit back on his haunches, undoing his pants while Adeline bunched her dress up further.  
“Are you ready?”  
“Yes.”  
He settled himself back on top of her, his excitement beginning to overwhelm him. He reached between them to adjust himself to align with her body.  
What a terrible time to be interrupted.  
Three heavy pounds on the door echoed through the room, scaring the living daylights out of him and causing him to fall on top of her. His forehead smacked into hers, and the both of them cried out.  
More pounds came from the door. “Adeline, whoever you have in there needs to get out now!”  
Adeline groaned, still reeling from having her head bashed. “For fuck’s sake.”  
More pounding. “Adeline, open this fucking door!”  
The pair begrudgingly untangled themselves from one another and fixed their clothing. Adeline cast him a sad look, and went to the door.  
Of course, it would be the head nurse. Sour, rough, and rude. Bertholdt had been subjected to her physicals, and he couldn’t say he enjoyed being her patient. From her expression, he could tell she was livid. Erwin must have spoken to her at some point, and the bitch was clever enough to put two and two together.  
“He needs to leave.” She pointed an accusing finger at Bertholdt.  
He bristled at the comment, and further established his disdain for the woman.  
“Give us a minute.” Adeline’s reply was sharp. He knew she had bigger balls than most men-the way she spoke just proved it.  
“One minute. Keep your clothes on.”  
The older woman shut the door behind her a she crossed the threshold.  
“Eight o’clock tomorrow, we go to the administration,” he said. “Is that too early?”  
Adeline shook her head. “Eight is perfect.”  
“If we tell them you’re pregnant, we’re bound to get a house.”  
The corner of her mouth twitched up a little. Not a smile, but it was a start. “Okay.”  
Bertholdt kissed her one last time. He didn’t want to leave her, especially after what just happened. Still, there was consolation in the promise of them living together, soon. “Get some sleep tonight.”  
“I’ll try.”  
The old nurse was waiting for him, arms folded and scowling. “You’re fucking lucky, Hoover.”  
He ignored her, and continued walking. There was a sense of accomplishment around him. slowly, they were putting the pieces into place.  
It felt very peaceful. 

Again, the pair sat in an office. They’d made the application, and it was being looked over by a solicitor who would make the end verdict as to whether they got the house or not. Adeline scratched at her fingers, picking at the skin and ripping the nails down to little nubs.  
Bertholdt grabbed her hands. “Stop it. You’re driving me insane.”  
Adeline sighed. “How long is this going to take?”  
“Not long now, I’m sure of it.”  
“This is bullshit.” She folded her arms.  
She’d slept fine- better than the past few weeks. But she had awoken early with a bout of the sickness that went with early pregnancy, so that had dampened her mood. Being grumpy wasn’t good on her, not to mention she had work later.  
The doorknob clicked and they both turned. Adeline recognised the man, and her spirit lifted. “Emil, how are you?”  
“Wonderful to see you, Adeline.” He sat at the desk, and adjusted his glasses.  
Adeline turned to Bertholdt. “This is Emil Gerhaz. He processed my nursing application when I first started.”  
Emil offered him a quick smile before getting down to business. “So, your application looks good.”  
Adeline leaned back in her chair. “Thank God.”  
“With both of you employed by the military, getting a house should be no problem.”  
Finally, some good news to sucker punch all the bad shit in the face. Adeline felt soothed, relief rushing through her veins to chase away the stress. “When can we move in?”  
“As soon as we have a marriage certificate.”  
“Oh, we aren’t getting married.” Adelie brushed his response off with a nonchalant wave of her hand.  
Emil’s brow furrowed. “Unfortunately, we can’t move forward without a marriage certificate.”  
Panic stabbed at Adeline’s stomach. Bertholdt’s voice offered no comfort. “Why do you need a marriage certificate?”  
“Public outrage, mostly.” Emil took his glasses off. “The military isn’t exactly favoured, and a fuss would be kicked up if an unmarried couple were living and raising a child together.’  
‘It’s also an insurance policy. If Adeline dies in childbirth, the child won’t go to you because the pregnancy is illegitimate by law. Not to insinuate anything about you, Adeline, I mean no disrespect.”  
“How can that be?”  
“If Adeline was married to you, you would be assumed the father. Should she die, the baby would then go to her next of kin, regardless.”  
“We’ll do it.”  
Adeline felt Bertholdt’s head snap toward her, stunned by the words that had left her mouth.  
“Adeline, are you-“  
“Let’s do it.”  
Emil stammered, “I-I’ll get the paperwork for a license.” He began to rummage through the filing cabinets for the papers. Bertholdt leaned over, his face a mixed expression of fear and surprise.  
“Are you sure?”  
“Whatever it takes.”  
“You didn’t want to get married!”  
“I changed my mind! If this is the only way, we need to consider it!”  
Emil returned to his desk and signed at the bottom of the page. “Do you have a preferred date?”  
“As soon as we possibly can.” Adeline took the pen and paper from Emil, not hesitating to put her name down.  
“I’ll send you a summons, both of you,” Emil nodded. Bertholdt took the pen and signed, and that was it.  
Holy shit, Adeline thought. I’m fucking engaged.  
“You can both head off, now. I’ll have this sorted with a date and time.”  
Adeline stood and hightailed it from the room, feeling breathless. Did they actually just agree to get married? “Holy shit.”  
“What was that?” Bertholdt said, chasing after his partner.  
“It needed to be done.” She shrugged, and continued walking. Bertholdt gently grabbed her arm.  
“Slow down!”  
Adeline stopped. “It was the only way!”  
“I know, I’m just surprised you did it.”  
Adeline laughed. “Come on, you know how stubborn I am.”  
Bertholdt smiled down at her. “Let’s just have two witnesses.”  
Adeline nodded. “Small.”  
“You seriously want to go ahead with this?”  
“I’m staying, so why not?”  
He tucked her hair behind her ear. “You can keep your name, if you want, and I won’t stop you from returning to work.”  
Again, she nodded. Bertholdt opened his arms, and she went in for the hug. 

“Sorry if I just scared the shit out of you.”  
“You’re already pregnant. Nothing is more terrifying than that.”  
“Another thing.” She pulled away from him. “I want to say I got pregnant on the wedding night.”  
His eye twitched, but his response was promising. “Alright.”  
“You haven’t told anyone other than Reiner?”  
He shook his head. “No one else knows.”  
He ran his hand through her hair. It was a reassurance to her, of what she just did. She was going to marry this man. It was daunting, but it was going to happen sooner or later, regardless. Most girls were married off by nineteen, and generally became mothers a year or two later.  
“We just need to wait, now,” he said. “Soon, it-”  
“Adeline!” The shouting of her name cut him off, and the two turned toward the cry. Adeline caught sight of one of her fellow nurses, running toward them at full speed. Rosie, her uniform in disarray, her hair a mess, face redder than a ripe tomato. “Adeline!”  
“Rosie!”  
The blonde came screeching to a stop, her breathing laboured as she struggled to get her words together. “You.. need.. to come quick.”  
“Rosie, calm down!” Adeline patted the girl’s back. “Slowly, now. What’s wrong?”  
“It’s your mother.” Rosie gripped Adeline’s hand for dear life. “She’s just arrived from Nedlay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been on a margarita induced hiatus (cheers, chapter 84, you fuckin bitch) and I realised I just need to get this shit done. Yes, I know some of my spelling is weird, but hey, that's Australia for you.


	5. Resentful Caretaker

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dreamt I had a baby and called her Kylie so I'm just gonna take it as a sign. Idk if I wanna continue this as I've gotten a few inboxes of abuse regarding it (mainly attacking my writing, which I know isn't great but it's fun, so suck my dick) and telling me to kms (lol again suck my dick) so this might honestly be my last entry for this before I just delete it forever. Peace xx

She must have been standing there for a while - the shadows had changed by the time she shook herself from her day dreaming. Her eyes remained on the door knob, brass glistening in the sunlight with a radiant shine. The complete opposite of her mood, although she would have to commend Sybil on her cleaning.   
She couldn't bring herself to open the door. Adeline could feel her mother's rage reverberating through the structure of the building - she'd seen it on the faces of the other nurses. They looked at her as she passed through. Some cast pitiful looks in her direction, but most glanced at her with terrified expressions etched on their faces.   
Mostly, the latter.  
Annette March was, at most polite, an assertive woman. Assertive, and harsh, and demanding. Her air of authority second to none.   
Maybe she should be the one to take over, should anything happen to Smith.   
A giggle burst through Adeline's lips before she shut them again, a vain attempt to stifle her laughter. Annette could give Erwin a run for his money, that was for sure.   
Adeline had broken her mother's rule - her single, most important rule, to never, ever have sex before being married. Now, to see how her mother would react was shaking her to her core.   
In an act of bravery, Adeline turned the knob, and gently pushed the door open. Taking a breath that would most likely be her last, the young woman stepped inside the office.   
Annette stood with her back to her daughter, red hair rolled into an expertly styled chignon. It was darker than Adeline's, twice as long, and more tamable, falling into luscious waves. She was dressed for travelling - simple burgundy skirt with a matching coat, and a white shirt of cotton. No signs of baggage, Adeline wondered if she had come all this way simply to beat her ass, then return home.   
"Mother."   
Annette turned, showing the same aquiline nose and delicately curved cheek. Bewitching green eyes fell onto the younger woman, wide and knowing.   
Adeline saw the slap coming before her mother even crossed the room.   
The girl fell sideways slightly before catching herself on a chair.   
"You bitch." Annette's voice was quiet, restrained to a whisper and thick with hurt. "You wicked little bitch."  
The sting from the slap plunged through Adeline's cheek, and sung through her entire face, though the words definitely hurt her more. Adeline delicately touched her cheek, flinched when she felt a wetness.   
Annette had scratched her, slightly, and drawn blood.   
"I'm sorry."   
"You very well should be!" Her mother snapped, words dripping with venom. "You purposely disobeyed me! Went behind my back and now look at what you've done!"  
"We're marrying-"  
To Adeline's horror, Annette's fingers came to clasp around her daughter's chin. Her mother's face close to hers, Adeline caught a whiff of her perfume. Soft rose scent drifted toward her. Her grandmother had worn that same perfume, she remembered. It wasn't enough to distract her from the tears appearing in the older woman's eyes.   
"Do you have any idea what you've done to yourself?!" Annette's voice was still a whisper, constricted with emotion. "You think marrying him is going to make any damn difference?"   
Tears had sprung in Adeline's eyes, now, the young woman utterly terrified. She'd expected a showdown of sorts, but not this upsetting. "Mom, please!"  
"Please, what?" Tears spilled over the waterline, cascading in rivers down her cheeks. "Forgive you for throwing everything I taught you back in my face?"   
To Adeline's surprise, Annette let go, releasing her jaw. Her arms then slid around her daughter, holding the girl to her body. Adeline's body reacted on its own merit, hugging her mother in return.   
How strange it was, she thought, to be as indecisive as Annette. Though really, Adeline knew now where she got it from.   
"I'm sorry," Annette said. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry - "   
She broke away from Adeline. Grabbing her jaw again, she turned Adeline's face to inspect where she'd struck her. "Oh God, I'm a monster."  
Adeline didn't reply. Her heart was still racing, thudding in her ears like thunder. Annette embraced her daughter again, and continued to sob.   
"I'm sorry, I was so angry!"  
"It's fine, I - "   
"No, it is not."  
Annette pulled away. "I'm sorry, I was furious when I read your letter."   
Adeline said nothing, and stared into the same green eyes as her own.   
"I was so worried. I still am. What's going to happen to you now?"   
Adeline inhaled sharply, struggling to maintain what little composure she had left. "They've asked me to continue working for as long as I can."   
Annette's lip twitched; whether it was a good reaction or not Adeline could not tell. "And after that?"  
"Well, since we'll be married, should anything happen to Bertholdt I'll receive a widow's pension, plus more for the baby, so should I have to go back to work I'll be able to find a nurse or something. Even one of the girls would help."  
"Ah, that's his name." Annette's eyes narrowed. "Will I be meeting him at all?"  
"Only if you promise not to murder him."  
Her eyes narrowed further. "I'm not making promises I can't keep."  
Adeline tried to keep herself from smirking. Annette gave a sigh before pulling Adeline into another hug.   
"It's been so long." Annette leaned further into Adeline's body, relishing being in the same room together, finally.   
Not under good circumstances, it would seem, but the two had not seen one another in the flesh for near on a year.   
"I shouldn't have hit you."   
"You always said you would. I had fair warning."   
Annette released her, eyes drifting up and down. "When are you planning on marrying?"   
"As soon as possible. Hopefully before I get too far along," Adeline said. "I'm hoping we'll be able to brush it off as a first night accident."   
Her mother frowned at that. "It may be harder than you think. People would figure it out."  
She was right, Adeline knew. It had happened six weeks ago, she was already down by a month. Even of they married tomorrow, and moved in, she would have to pretend not to know for another month before springing it. No one realized they were pregnant that quickly. It just wouldn't add up, mathematically or logically.   
Hell, Connie would probably figure it out, and he was dictionary definition half-witted. Besides, was it really worth lying to everyone?  
"Where are you staying?" Adeline said.   
"I've got a room at an inn." Annette shrugged off her coat. "My bags are there, in case you were wondering."   
Chewing the inside of her lip thoughtfully, Adeline thought for a moment. Bertholdt would be waiting for her, as she'd instructed him to. Maybe she could rip the thorn out now. "Would you like to meet Bertholdt tonight?"   
"I beg your pardon?"   
"Tonight. We could go to supper, or something."   
Annette shook her head. "You need rest, but we could go to tea tomorrow provided you aren't on a day shift."  
Adeline nodded excitedly, though she was hesitant to leave it so late. She would have preferred to get it out of the way now, knowing full well she'd be fretting over the two of them meeting for hours on end. "Where are you staying?"   
"The Blue Rose." Annette smoothed her skirt absentmindedly. Adeline knew she was fidgeting, she did the exact same thing. "They have a tea room, I'll meet you and this man there at ten?"   
Adeline nodded.   
Annette laid a hand on her daughter's face, gently thumbing over the mark. "I'm truly sorry."  
"To be fair, you did give me fair warning." Adeline walked her mother to the door. "You don't want to say hello to Sybil while you're here?"   
"I'm going there now." Annette draped the coat over her arm, smoothing the rich fabric of any wrinkles. "I'm also going to have a hand in planning the birth, as well."  
"Can we not discuss that just yet?"   
Annette frowned, but Adeline remained guiltless. She'd witnessed a birth before, and she was not looking forward to being the one on that bed.   
As her mother opened the door, Adeline hung by her, wanting to at least walk her mother to the carriage. Much to her relief, the hall was empty, the other girls too busy to fuss themselves with eavesdropping.   
"I'll meet you both tomorrow." Annette kissed her daughter's cheek, opposite the one she'd so heartily slapped. Adeline envied the strength the little woman had mustered. Not even Reiner would have been able to deal such a blow. "Maybe ice that cheek."   
"I'll get a salve. Much better in healing capabilities."   
The corner's of her mother's mouth turned down, she left, leaving Adeline at the entrance of the hospital. Skirts rustling behind her, Annette made her way off.   
Adeline stood, still reeling from the encounter, still feeling the hard slap. Fingertips traced her cheek. The welt was swelling, already, no doubt she would have a bruise. God, she thought, what are you made of? 

***  
After raiding the medicine cupboards, Adeline went back to the apartment. She wanted to bathe, and begin to settle for the afternoon. It was early for a bath, admittedly, but Adeline felt it was necessary.   
She held the mirror up to her face, inspecting the cut. She was right about the bruising. The purple mark smeared across her face, looking like she'd been punched rather than simply copping a slap from her mother.   
A simple salve would help, and she had powder to cover the bruise.   
Adeline winced as she smeared the strong-smelling paste over the mark. It stung, and her eye screwed up in response. "Ow."   
There was a knock at the door.   
"Door's open!"   
Sybil's head peered through the door. "Just me."  
With the rate of the nurse's work, and given how much busier it was for the head of the nursing department, Adeline knew this wasn't a simple visit to check on her well-being. She would have sent Rosie, or Elda. Sybil had an ulterior motive.  
"I take it your mother didn't take the news so well?" Sybil's fingers drifted over her cheek, mirroring Adeline's injury.  
"It was a shock to her." She popped the lid back onto the jar, setting it down on her nightstand. "I can't really blame her."  
Blue eyes met green, the former sparkling with more enthusiasm than Adeline felt comfortable with. "How long?"   
"Whenever we get the summons to Town Hall."   
Sybil ran her fingers through her hair, dark tendrils tossing back in a flourish. "I can't help but feel a little excited."   
You more than me, Adeline thought to her self. Out loud, she said "You can attend, if you'd like."   
"That's not what I'm here to discuss, honestly."   
Of course it isn't. Whatever the woman was scheming up, Adeline knew it was going to fall out of her mouth.   
"How do you feel about getting married?"   
Adeline shrugged. "It's the right thing to do. What about it?"   
Sybil didn't answer immediately, instead moving to the bed to sit down opposite Adeline. "Can I tell you something, in confidence?"   
Nodding, Adeline began to wonder. Maybe there wasn't a motive after all. No, she thought. It's Sybil. There was always a motive when it was Sybil.   
"I know you haven't been impressed with the advice I've given you lately.'  
'But the truth is, I was in your shoes. This exact pair."  
Adeline felt herself sharply take in a breath. "What?"   
Sybil nodded. "I was young, and he was a soldier."   
"What did you do?"   
"My nursing superior met a man. Someone who could fix it." Sybil leaned forward, hands in her lap. Body language gauging in a sincere stance, Adeline knew now wasn't the time for smart ass remarks, or the witty banter that she and Sybil often engaged in. "I went to Sina and that was it.'  
'You know, as much as you're telling yourself you're doing this to spare people's feelings, I think you're doing it because you want to."  
She felt herself bristle at that comment. "What makes you say that?!"   
Sybil leaned further forward. "You seemed pretty happy that the tea was so poorly made."  
Adeline felt a familiar heaving in her core - not from morning sickness but close enough. The wave went quickly, but the feeling of disgust still lingered. "You won't say anything?"   
"Of course I won't. But think about what I said."  
The woman rose gracefully, and made her way to the door.   
"Hey Sybil? The boy, the soldier you were talking about?"   
"What about him?"   
"Is he still around?"   
Adeline's eyes swept over her superior, searching for any body language. She saw the white knuckles, clenching into fists, the thumbs grinding over the flesh of her hands. That alone told her enough.  
"He went out one day and didn't come home."  
Adeline could easily guess what Sybil meant by "out". Of course, the military had a huge hook-up culture. No one cared, really - everyone was guilty of it at some point in time. It was a matter of gossip, rumors cruelly being spread about every man and his dog. There were whispers, even, of Erwin, that he'd gone off and fathered a child somewhere.   
That was just a rumor, of course, but Adeline would have struggled to muster shock if it ended up being true.   
The sound emitted by Sybil allowing the door to slam alerted Adeline to her sudden lack of company. Her heart broke for the woman, a little, but it gave her some reassurance.   
Even if she did end up losing Bertholdt, maybe there was hope in having a piece of him left with her.


End file.
